last night, i realised i missed living by myself. my dear friend, katiebrown, suggested that i spend some time alone in my room reading with tea and music. it sounds like the most perfect day, especially in this weather. i think that'll be my plan for monday.

chinamobile is cutting all my msgs in half. lame

living in china has brought me back to primary school days where no one is in one place for long, tck's are the majority, where you don't know how long you'll be in the same city with the new friend you made last week. flying is the equivalent to taking a bus, drivers licenses are non existent, the question where are you from and how long are you here for are followed by long pauses and perhaps an 'i don't know.' you speak in mixed chinese and english and you start to take tissues and hand wipes everywhere. macdonald's, starbucks and crap american diners are comfort food. watching dvds where everyone speaks english is a joy. you become immediately close to other foreigners because you're in the same boat and experiencing life in the same way. people move on to other countries and eventually you know you will too.

'i need to remind myself that in every season there is a new truth to be learned. a truth that can only be learned in this season and that is tailored for this season. the comfort i experience during a season of pain won't be repeated during a season of joy. the enabling i know in a season of war won't be repeated in a season of peace. His voice that i hear during a season of longing will be different to the one that i hear during a season of distraction.
but that is okay. it's a different season. it has a different purpose.

we all know that if the seasons were the same, there would be no growth. we know that without winter there would be no spring. we know that without frosts there would be no bulbs and without the monsoon there would be no rice harvest. in the same way, we also know that without sorrow there would be no joy. without pain there would be no healing. i think that's precisely where the beauty comes in. it comes in trough the fruit of the saeasons. He has indeed made everything beautiful in its time.

even so, there will always be times when we don't see the beauty. in those seasons we long for heaven even more. we long for a time when we will have unhindered, unbroken intimacy with God. we long for a time when we won't bounce like ping-pong balls, back and forth, back and forth from intimacy to distance. in this world, our experience of the seasons including all the futility and the frustrations, impacts our fellowship with God, but in the world to come, we will know no such impact.

' the throne of God and the lamb will be in the city and his servants will serve him. they will see his face and his name will be on their foreheads. there will be no more night. they will not need the light of a lamp or the light of a sun, for the Lord God will give them light' rev 22.3-5

we will see His face. all of the time, every single moment. underneath every one of our desires and longings is to see the face of God. that is what we were made for. we were made with eternity in our hearts and that is what we have to look forward to, and we do, through every season'

- naomi reed.

and today she got some perspective

what a day

this weather reminds me so much of her
i miss hannah