but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
and it's 2am and i'm cursing your name
you're so in love that you act insane
and that's the way i loved you


oh taylor

sometimes people can be real bitches.

the things you don't know. and never will

i have been travelling for four months now.
three and a half months of moving around.
in this last month i met up with my parents,
and hung out in the city we last lived in together.
this equals my childhood. so familiar.
anyway. they left today.
and it was strange

for the first time in four months
i felt homesick.
it's strange saying it

mei said: probably only because your parents are leaving
they are your 'home'
your home is leaving you

i agree.
she's so smart.

for a moment, everything just seemed so simple

photo courtesy of kiki.

a distant memory
of my sentences being finished.

two months!

it's so weird

for the first time in five years, ALL my belongings are in the country i live in.

it's been a whirlwind of a week and it has been so so lovely
oh

i went shopping for winter clothes the other day. i bought a few jumpers and cardigans. i wore one today and realised that even though it LOOKS good, the fashionable holes in it won’t keep me warm this winter…


(i also wish my legs looked like that. darn girl on weheartit)

two more of my friends got engaged this weekend.

sometimes it's hard to think you won't become a spinster.

but then again, i'm twenty three. and on the wider scale, that is really young.

yeah
things are fine

"indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. we are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. we are far too easily pleased."

- c.s.lewis ‘the weight of glory’

the concerts we made for our families, daytona christmas, disneyworld, american girls, grandmama + grandpapa, long msn chats, penguins, pocahontas, barnes and noble, being milk and chocolate, dancing, swimming on my carpet, matching outfits, bagels and cream cheese, making plans for the future, hk shopping, chatting, easter egg hunt in my garden, hooters, being halsian, ocean park with our dads and the thunder that sounded like half of hk's buildings fell down, our imaginations, bunk beds, talking about boys, singing, photos, the american club, being sisters.

five years, na. we still miss you

happy "twenty fourth" birthday, nah.
i love you and miss you, a lot.

last night i ran out of my friends house and sobbed all the way to the station. on the train. in the convenient store. on the walk home. i felt like a complete fool. i actually have a fear of crying in public. so it was a big deal.

i got four hours sleep last night which may explain how i'm feeling
dropped mum off at the airport at six this morning to head back to plan her brothers funeral
tomorrow i am meant to go a friend's brothers funeral
and then celebrate hannah's "twenty fourth" birthday on friday.
next week is five years since her death.
the clouds aren't helping.

and in between all that is easter.
author and perfecter of peace.

i had my first good quiet time in a long time
here's to discipline and keeping it up

“whatever cultural shifts take place around us, whatever socio-political concerns claim our attention, whatever anxieties we may feel about the church as an institution, Jesus Christ crucified, risen, reigning, and now in the power of his atonement, calling, drawing, welcoming, pardoning, renewing, strengthening, preserving, and bringing joy, remains the heart of the Christian message, the focus of Christian worship, and the fountain of Christian life. other things may change; this does not.”

– j. i. packer